Buy Crypto Like A Boss

Everybody’s talking about crypto. From Arya Stark to the fresa Monterrey Tech bros, we all want a piece of this pie. ¿Pero saben qué? Despite its eerie name, investing in crypto isn’t mysterious. In fact, si usas tu coco you can get in on this and add to your expanding wealth portfolio. Don’t sweat it though– your padrinos here at SUMA are here to guide you through the process of buying cryptocurrency in four easy steps. Pero, primero lo primero:

What the Heck is Cryptocurrency?

Buena pregunta, kid. Cryptocurrency (also known as crypto) is a type of digital currency that does not exist physically and is not controlled by a central bank or government. Contrast that to fiat currency such as dollars, euros, pesos, yuan, rupees– all of these are currencies that are controlled by the central banks of their respective countries, with rules deciding how much cash is allowed in those territories at any given time. ¿Y qué? 

Well, you’d be surprised at the amount of trust we put on these central banks. Si dicen que they have enough money to go around, we just kinda have to take their word for it. In extreme cases such as Venezuela, the government just prints out paper money and you end up having to pay 100,000 for an arepa. Central banks are the “¡mientras vivas bajo el mismo techo vas a seguir mis reglas!” of financial institutions. Like, ma, that’s a weak argument– we need reasoning! 

Crypto offers an alternative to this. You do live bajo un techo and do have to follow certain rules, but the cool thing about crypto is that it’s a transparent, digital super techo with other little techos underneath that connect to each other. Everybody keeps each other in check and you can see what transactions happened in other techos. All these transactions are anonymous but they leave behind paper trails that have been verified, so if you own a cryptocurrency you’ll know for sure que no te han dado gato por liebre. 

Alright, ahora al grano.

We’ll focus on bitcoin, the J-Lo of cryptocurrencies, just because it’s the most famous one and she’s lying when she says her Love Don’t Cost a Thing. It costs something!

There are a few ways to buy bitcoins around the world. People used to be able to “mine” them online with little help, pero it’s as not easy anymore. The most common avenue now is to buy them off exchanges like Coinmama and CEX.IO.  We’re going to show you how to do it through CEX.IO. ¡Presta atención!

Paso 1: Get a Digital Wallet

This is your techo, o sea, where your bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies will live and interact with other cryptos. As with any financial decisions, you’re going to have to pull a Goldilocks and do some research before deciding which digital wallet is just right for you. Porridge too hot or too cold? Pues keep looking!

Paso 2: Register and Open an Account

We know, we know… OTRA cuenta where you have to memorize a password. But CEX.IO makes this simple for you. Come on– you’ve used your brain power to take mental notes on petty things that bother you about your media naranja (lava los platos, please!), so why not reserve some head space for something less toxic like opening an account to build your wealth? Sheesh!   

Paso 3: Use Two Factor Authentication Code

You were in Tulum, had to use your hotel’s common computer, forgot to log out y ahora el creepy chavo alemán that you met on the beach has your credentials. We say this with all the love in the world: don’t be 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♂️! Double factor authentication (2FA) might be an extra step, but it’s the new norm, so get used to it– especially as it relates to your bitcoins in your bit-piggybank. 

Paso 4: Purchase Bitcoin

¡Ábrete sésamo! You’re in! You can purchase bitcoins and other cryptocurrencies using fiat currency that you possess in your bank. Remember: fiat is money like dollars and euros that is controlled by central banks.

As a first-time user you, of course, have to verify that you are the person that owns your bank account and credit/debits cards. You will do this by providing documents and by verifying other details. 

¡Y ya está! In the time it would take you to clean up the tamal residue that exploded in a microwave because you left it in there too long, you could start buying bitcoin like a boss. Trading bitcoin is a whole other beast that requires a more sophisticated explanation, however. Mantén los ojos pelados and watch this space where we will guide you through that process too. 

Happy buying!